Tuesday, January 29, 2013

on progress, or the lack thereof.

So. I mentioned that I was embarking on a 52-week project to organize my home. I started with aplomb. Got things done each week. The first few weeks I was feeling pretty accomplished. I had some loose ends each week, but nothing that couldn't be tied up in an hour or two.

Then, Week Four.

Last week.

Nothing.

Last week was awful. And by awful, I mean awful. It started with the weekend. A lot of time spent out of the house. Not much time to devote to my project. Although I give myself seven hours each week (which, realistically, is enough time to complete each project I think, save maybe one), that weekend and all of its activity left me completely unmotivated. So, I did nothing. I didn't worry about it, since I knew I had Monday to finish (each week starts on Tuesday).

Monday came and went. Crickets.

That was pretty much a harbinger of things to come for the remainder of the week. Every day my daughter was fussy (teething), taking short catnaps and leaving me with not much free time. No biggie. Each day I would just wait until my husband got home from work and tackle it then.

No haps. She just fussed then too. So I would have just enough time to make dinner (except for one night when I put my son on dinner duty so that I could tend to her all evening) and that was it.

Add in some personal setbacks and it was a formula for... well... nothing getting done.

This week has not started out great either. Yesterday (Monday) came with more personal setbacks, plus my husband being out of town working and my son out of the house for the evening. I got the kids some pizza and me some Panda Express. And did nothing else.

Same thing today, which was supposed to be the start of Week Five.

I wish I could have a better progress report for you, my beloved tens of readers. I just don't.

I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say, last week was one of the more difficult weeks I've had in a long time. It had me wanting to check out of the wife/mother routine for a few days. It just seemed like I couldn't manage to do ANYTHING, much less do anything RIGHT. If I had the money, I would hire a maid, a cook, a nanny, a personal assistant, and a driver, just for weeks like last week. Alas, as I have access to none of those things, I was in pretty bad shape, even for me.

I am happy that I can now say that I am not feeling nearly as down about it all as I was. Once I had some time to step back and re-evaluate, I realized (or better yet, remembered) that I do not have to have it all together. I know that concept is anathema to many... at least on paper... but it's true. My kids still smile and laugh and play and are happy and enjoy each other. My blood pressure is inching closer to normal. I've lost 55 pounds without trying. My teenager loves to spend time with me and tells me everything that is going on in his life. That's more than many people have. So what if the hall closet isn't done and there are still clothes that need to be washed and that patch of dining room floor that I cleaned is now a mess again?

I also remembered that starting with Week Thirty, I had run out of things to do. That means, I really do have plenty of time to just start over where I've stopped. This week, that is what I am going to do. I am going to take Week Five to tie up all of my loose ends from previous weeks and relax. Next week, I'll tackle that hall closet.

I know some folks asked for progress before/after pictures. I'll do that too.

I hope your week is off to a lovely start.

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