my project 52 has hit a snag.

The good news is, I have not missed one week of taking photos of my sweet Hope. Even the days where the day almost got away from me, or we both were exhausted, or miserable, or I had almost forgotten, I have managed to not miss a day. If I can keep it up, I am going to look back over this year's photos and be so glad that I stuck it out. The subject matter, of course, makes it very easy to continue.

The bad news is, my computer is sick.

My little Macbook is four years old, and has seen many miles of travel and jam-packed years worth of data and memories. And now it's acting up. My Preview app which is used to view photos that I have taken and edited is not working properly. It opens, and behaves as though it is pulling up a photo, but then the photo does not display. Also, even after deleting what seems like an inordinate amount of stuff, my photo program still will not import any new photos from my camera due to lack of memory. So I am still trying to find more things to delete.

Until I can get these two things to work, I cannot post the photos of my little one here. Sigh. I fear I may have to take her in to the Apple Store to get fixed.

So for now, the pictures are still sitting on Niki's memory card, waiting to have something done with them.

Meanwhile, baby Hope is ten weeks old today. Double digit weeks. She is growing, eating and sleeping, and smiling and cooing, and fussing a little less (except in the car), and losing her hair in the back. A tiny little bald spot has already manifested. Teehee.

She's reaching for things and grabbing things and sitting up sometimes with no assistance from Mommy's arms, and loving her brothers and sister. And Daddy and Mommy.

She is wiggling her feet and toes and hands and fingers (still throwing up the occasional gang sign), and even the more unpleasant activities, like passing gas, still seem adorable.

And since I cannot share the photos from my camera just yet, I will just post a few from my iPhone, chronicling the last couple of weeks.

Her beautiful eyes.

Another one of her eyes. It came out looking like an old painting.

Caught one of her many smiles, without the photo being blurry. She has such a pretty smile.

And this one was from today. Her big sister thought she would look cute wearing one of her Barbie's crowns. And big sister was right.

I am REALLY hoping this computer will get healed in the next week or so.

project 52: a new hope, week seven.

This week has been difficult.

My sweet Hope has had mild improvements with her digestive issues, in that she has not been upset through the night anymore. However, some days are worse than others, and she is fussiest in the afternoons. Granted, not every single afternoon, which is a good thing. But Monday was one of those days. We had a lot to get done on Monday and between trying to get everything taken care of and her cries of discomfort, I ended up with a splitting headache that lasted for hours and would not go away no matter what I did. I did not get as many pictures of her as I usually do, because it hurt my head to even move.

I did take a few though, out of sheer determination.

Daddy was able to get her to sleep for a little while, and that's when I snapped a few shots.

She was seven weeks old on Monday.

Pretty girl.

When she is not fussing, she is staring up at us with her marvelous sparkly eyes and giving us all kinds of coos and smiles. On Saturday she discovered she was quite capable of bouncing up and down on her legs, and every time she did it she looked so excited, like she felt so empowered or something. All of those moments make the fussy times for her and the migraine-y times for me seem not so bad.

project 52: a new hope, weeks five and six.

This baby is sleeping peacefully right now, and I am about to have some chocolate milk and take my medicine before bed. But first, posterity time.

Last week was extremely difficult for both mother and baby. I was able to get some photos of her on the day of her five-week mark, thankfully. That in itself was a minor miracle. There were some moments when she was not fussing, and I took full advantage. I cannot get over her supreme cuteness.

This week has been slightly better than last week. On Monday, Hope was six weeks old. She has still been fussing quite a bit, but every now and then I get these five to ten-minute pockets of calm (sometimes even twenty minutes) where she just stares at me and smiles and does all manner of cooing and oohing and aah-ing. She is sweet as can be.

And these photos are truly craptastic. But my goal this week was just to get something, since time was not on my side. I want to remember her hands, her feet, her expressions, no matter how awful the photo comes out. I was able to get what I wanted to remember which was my only objective.

Moving feet.

Her gangsta hand. She has her hands in this position 50 percent of the time. The majority of the remaining 50 percent consists of her hand displaying the number four.

Pretty girl. With her little angel wings forming above her ears. And I don't know why I call them angel wings. I just do.

Heehee. This one looks like the photos I took of my teenage son when he was an infant. I miss film. Even disposable film.

My Hopey is the sweetest little flower.

project 52: a new hope, weeks three and four.

Well.

After a couple of harrowing nights, I am finally able to get this posted. Hope has been really fussy for most of the weekend as well as Monday and yesterday. Her fussiness was at full steam during the evenings, which is when I am normally most alert and able to carve out a few minutes to blog. Didn't happen Monday. Then it didn't happen yesterday. Today, her fussiness is a bit less, and I am so glad. Bless her wee heart. Her little stomach doesn't seem to be upsetting her quite as much, which is a good thing. And my husband was kind enough to let me have some time alone so I could do some work on my computer. I love him. He really can be the sweetest.

Ahhh, so now, this beautiful bundle of baby in all of her intense beautimousness.

First, last week. She was three weeks old. Here is what she looked like last Monday.

Her eyes are like these beautiful marbles.

Little baby feet. Not so wrinkly anymore. And her legs are getting fatter. Heart.

Caught her in mid-motion.

And now, Memorial Day.

This past Monday, Hope turned four weeks old. A full month. There were points in the day when I wanted to cry, because yet again, here I am with a wee one that is growing and changing a little too fast for me. But oh, the sweet changes. She studies me so intently, recognizes when her siblings are in the room, coos so softly, and, like all babies, looks like an angel when sleeping. And she loves snuggling with Mommy and cuddling with Daddy. 

This is what she looked like on Monday.

"Who is it? Who did it?"

Those marbles for eyes again.

My heart is all aflutter.

Luckily, she is still resting peacefully. 

Whoops. Spoke too soon. 

Luckily, I am done.

a new project 52: a new hope, week one.

I did not do a "one little word" for this year, because I spent the last eight months away from my blog. Back in December, I'm not sure I would have known for certain what my word would be. I was in the midst of traveling back and forth (I'll share more about that later but there are a few photos in this post), overcome much of the time with nausea and feeling generally miserable. Blogging was the furthest thing from my mind.

Taking photos was also not the highest priority for me, due to the same reasons. So, although I had totally planned on starting a new photo project (either every day or every week) at the start of the year, it just didn't happen. I guess I just wasn't ready.

But now, here we are. The start of May. And many things are different. Of course, the biggest thing is my baby girl is here. She has inspired me to write again, to get back into a creative routine, and to take many, many photos. Of my family. And definitely of her in this, her first year.

This time goes by so freaking fast. I hate it. I mean, I love it. But I hate it. It just seems like everything is over or years have passed in the blink of an eye. So I am going to chronicle what I can in a new 52-week project. I'll watch her grow that way. It isn't like I haven't taken tons of pictures of my three other kids. I'm just going to be very deliberate about it with her.

Her name is Hope, and today she is a week old. I will share her birth story and photos from her first days very soon. But for now, here is what she looks like today.

In her car seat, she is so tiny.

The back of her tiny head, with her gorgeous hair.

Her tiny little toes.

Sweet face.

And the sweet peach fuzz on her ear.

Indeed, the Lord has given us a tremendous new Hope this year. One that is everlasting.

new life.

It has been eight months since my last post. So many things are welled up inside of me that I want to say, but even now, still, after eight long months, much of it is still a jumbled mess. I have been ready to blog again for the past three months. No writer's block. No real lack of motivation. Just... not knowing where to start. Or how to start. I still don't really know. So I will go back to diary mode and just write.

But first, I will share what I have been up to in the past eight months, which isn't much.

Spent a few months in Baltimore. Visited DC with the fam while there.

That's my husband and little boy in front of that guard.

Taken by my husband.

All of the other photos of me were taken by my son. This last one was taken yesterday. I am 39 weeks and 3 days, and thanks to high blood pressure, I am being induced later on today. Looks like my youngest kidlet's birthday will be 30 April 2012.

She is so loved, indeed.

Hard to believe she started out so tiny.

And she has a family that is beyond excited to meet her. It feels even better than Christmas Eve right now. 

So, the diary of scrambled pages of my jumbled up thoughts, emotions and quite possibly rants will start this week. Maybe once a week at first, since I'll be recovering with baby. Or maybe I will start a new photo project featuring her, since my previous photo project plans never took off for various reasons. No matter what, I do know that I have much to say and share, and I will slowly but surely figure out how to say and share it, and how to express myself eloquently again. 

project 52, week twenty-two.

Well, the minute I think I am getting back on track, it turns out it is sidetracked (yet again) that I am actually getting. 

I spent this past week and the week before getting my youngest son seen and scheduled for dentist appointments. (Week Twenty-Three will include pictures from a lovely summer afternoon that we spent at the lake, the day before his cheek swelled like a balloon.) Three days in a row of medical/dental visits, including x-rays and a week's worth of antibiotics and monitoring before another dental visit this past Friday, which got rescheduled so that he can actually have sedation instead of just laughing gas (he needs to have two extractions). So, the blogging again took a back seat. Photos, however, did not.

Self-portrait. Sort of. My three-year old daughter took this. She wanted to.

My son and I went to an art exhibition in the city.

The great weekend began with an outing at a lovely river and park. This covered bridge went over the river.

The iPhonearoid of the week is here.

And the Weekly Vlog is here. I actually posted it a day late, but that way I was able to get a little bit of footage from the rehearsal for a show that I am in.

project 52, week twenty-one.

Well, praise the Lord! I am finally getting around to putting up the photos from Week Twenty-One. Having that ordeal with the lack of space on my hard drive really set me back a couple of weeks ago. It took me over a week to get enough files deleted to free up more space! And once the space was finally free, I was not all that motivated to blog. But I've got to get back on the ball so I don't get overwhelmed with photos that I haven't posted yet.

Self-portrait.

Family.

Morning.

The iPhonearoid of the Week is here.

And the Weekly Vlog is here. I'm pretty proud of this one.

And now, to get weeks twenty-two and twenty-three posted...

project 52, week twenty.

Hallelujah! It looks like I'm in the clear to get these next couple of posts completed, because I've apparently FINALLY cleared enough space on my computer. So, although Week Twenty was two weeks ago, HERE IT IS!

Self-portrait.

My son, during two of his three performances.

And his turntables.

The iPhonearoid of the Week for Week Twenty is here.

And the Weekly Vlog is here.

Gonna take my tired butt to bed, and get Week Twenty-One on the blog tomorrow. Then I'll be all caught up.