As you know, I've been having many ups and downs emotionally since the beginning of March, when I had my mother admitted into hospice care. (She refused to go back to dialysis at the end of February). I have been so moved by comments and well-wishes that people have given me. It may not seem like much to you, but it really is encouraging, and I appreciate it.
In addition to truly learning to live day by day for a completely different reason than ever before (every day that I do not get a call from the nursing home is a good day), I have really fought a mental battle... since the beginning of Spring... fighting the urge to relegate this taking pictures thing to a hobby and shelving that hobby. I have been frustrated with my lack of creative motivation, and I know that said lack is due to having my thoughts elsewhere. It's been kind of difficult to focus on getting out with Niki and enjoying time when my mind is on counting down the minutes of each day and getting to the end with a "Whew. No phone call. Thank God."
But I love photography too much to quit. And I feel like I have something different to offer, so I am going to keep pressing until I push through. If weeks go by without a photo gig I won't sweat it (though I LOVE getting hired to take pictures, and expect to see a lot of work this summer); I will continue to nurture my relationship with my non-human bff. This Project 52 has been my saving grace the last month or so, as it has saved me from halting my photo-taking altogether.
Speaking of mothers and creative motivation (sort of), my son wrote me the most amazing note on Mother's Day, which, by the way, was a wonderful day. To say that I needed to hear this (or read it, rather) would be an understatement, and I have read it over and over again since he posted it. Before I share this week's photos, I am going to share with you all how wonderful my son is (sorry about the smaller font)...
"What can I say? I could say that you are an amazing mother. I could say that you are the greatest mother that anyone could ever have. I could say that you are blessed. Well, I can say these things because they're true. You are such an amazing person. You're full of talent, wisdom, and kindness. I see why every single one of your students enjoys you. They appreciate your kindness; they appreciate the fact that you care about each and every one of them without leaving any out. On top of this, you have an amazing gift of flourishing creativity which leaves people in awe and makes them want to have the same thing. Then, you have amazing character which completely influences your students, who want you to influence them. I know that maybe it might not seem like it, but your students love you. More than you can know. How can I say this? Because I AM one of those students. But I am also your son, so...
Whether you realize it or not, YOU inspire me everyday. You encourage me to be confident in who I am. You encourage me to work hard. And you encourage me to love. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have known what "love" is when I did. You're such an amazing mother. Every time mothers day comes along, I always cherish the good memories that we have had together. And I cherish the good times we have had as our family has grown. You have been such a blessing to me. Even though Mother's day comes around only once a year, I sincerely cherish you every single day. I love you, Mommy. Happy Mother's day. ♥"
Self-portrait.
Oldest son on stage, with his hair hiding his face.
End-of-year drama performance (one of several) at Master's Academy Woodstock.
My iPhonearoid of the week is here.
And my Weekly Vlog is here.
Have a great week, folks.
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