project 52, week twelve.

I'm a day late posting this, even though I had all of the elements ready on Sunday night. My computer started running slowly due to not having enough memory available, and once I finally freed up some room, I just decided to wait until today to post everything.

In my weekly vlog, I talk about what has been troubling me this month. I didn't get as in depth about my feelings as I had planned, because it is still too difficult to really talk about it.

There are some things that give me solace. Little things, like Papaya Mango Snapple, my french press, my walking playlist on my iPod, seeing all of the lovely things in my Pinterest feed, and Instagram notifications. 

And there are the constant things. 

Big things, like Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit, which I have been able to feel so heavily this month, much to my comfort. The Lord knows exactly what we need, always.

And my husband and children. They are my anchor, and I delight in pouring myself into them, even when it feels like it's not much.

Music.

And, remembering. With Niki's help.

Self-portrait.

M'ijo.

Of interest, because I love trees.

My iPhonearoid of the week is over here.

And my Weekly Vlog is over here.

Have a lovely week, everyone.

project 52, week eleven.

I'm a couple of days late getting last week's installment of Project 52 posted. I explained why in my Weekly Vlog. I haven't felt very energetic today... my little Ladybug has been running a temp since yesterday, and we've both been coughing incessantly. Fun.

Anywho, here are a few snapshots from last week.

Self-portrait. In the ER. At 1:00. A.M.

My beautiful boy.

And some, like, hospital stuff.

My iPhonearoid of the week? It's nice. Check it out.

And as I said above, my Weekly Vlog explains why I'm so late in getting this done.

Have a wonderful rest of the week, folks.

project 52, week ten.

A better week for me emotionally, but almost a bust when it came to shooting! I seemed to be so busy for much of the week that I didn't shoot much! Luckily, I did shoot SOMETHING.

Me.

My daughter.

My class. (One of them, anyway.)

And, some obscure beauty found in a miserably wet and cold day.

My iPhonearoid of the week is here.

And my Weekly Vlog is here.

Have a wonderful week, folks.

close your eyes, and make a hope.

Have you ever seen the Cedric the Entertainer segment of the Kings of Comedy film? At the beginning, where he talks about how black folks "don't hope, we wish?" Well, I was thinking about that randomly today, and noticed how I seem to do that often. I think it's a problem.

Why? Because faith is not the substance of things wished for. And we are not instructed to not lose wishes.
The Bible does not tell us that wishes will not lead to disappointment. It says that hope will not lead to disappointment. A certain kind of hope will not lead to disappointment.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.  -Romans 5:3-5


I often find myself still defaulting to wishing mode when troubles arise. I wish I could take care of this. I wish I could do more to help. I wish I could make this go away. I wish I had just a few more clients. I wish I had just a few more students. I wish I had more gigs. I wish I had more time. I wish my efforts at "whatever task" were more successful.

I have a lot of wishes.

I think there is an inherent sense of hopelessness in wishing. You don't really believe what you wish for will happen, because you have been disappointed so many times or had the wind taken out of your sails so many times you think that this is your lot in life.

Hope, however, looks forward to. There is an inherent sense of expectation in hoping. Things may not be great, in fact they could be downright negative, but there is still a feeling inside of you that expects and looks forward to circumstances improving. That is what gives birth to faith.

And THAT, hope, is what I want to default to more often than not and eventually always.

The events of the past couple of weeks have had me reflecting on this. I am certainly out of the habit of navel-gazing, but my reactions this week and last week have led me to question some behaviors. It is time for a conscious change, if I am to live out my one little word for this year and be free.

crock pot wednesday: forgetting photos. and the dried basil.

Yes, it's Friday and I am just getting around to sharing what I did for dinner on Wednesday. Again. Sometimes, it just happens that way. I totally meant to write my post Wednesday night, of course, but I fell asleep way early. I don't know why, but I have felt completely wiped out the past few days.

Anyway, I also didn't take any pictures Wednesday morning, due to being in an extreme hurry. My apologies.

I revisited the Chicken Cacciatore. I noticed it was one of my most popular posts and got inspired and thought, "Hey. That was pretty good. Maybe I'll just do that again, since I have almost everything I need for it." I literally needed five small items to complete the meal.

Okay. Now that I am thinking about it, I guess I needed more than what I had on hand. Forget what I said.

This time, I remembered almost everything. Doh.

I failed to remember the dried basil. Other than that, I did everything that I did the last time, except this time I did not omit the tomato paste and I used boneless, skinless chicken thighs, which is what I normally use.

It still came out pretty tasty. I think I will make this one more time before the school year is out, and I will be adding the dried basil, along with crushed rosemary, minced garlic, and dried parsley. And a larger can of tomato paste.

And now, to figure out what to cook next Wednesday. Why is it getting so hard?

project 52, week nine.

This week came and went, and I was happy to see it go. It was a difficult one for me.

I did not stop shooting, though.

Me.

Kidlets.

My town. 

It's a very, very, very fine town.

My iPhonearoid of the Week is another selfie, right here.

And my Weekly Vlog is right here.

Have a wonderful week, folks.

in like a lion. and needing the courage of a lioness.

It rained all day today. I took a few pictures with my iPhone in the evening, but the only time I took Niki out of her cozy home was when I went out for a very early dinner with my husband and kidlets. My oldest was in an all-day rehearsal for a play in which he is the lead, and we had a few hours to kill until he was finished. It was a lazy Saturday.

I did not cook a crock pot meal on Wednesday, because I was running way behind schedule that morning. We ended up getting take-out that night. I have no idea yet what I will be cooking this coming Wednesday, so I am up for suggestions.

This has been a difficult week. Some events have transpired that have left me feeling completely drained. I really do not feel like writing about it at the moment, but I have worked overtime this week to remember where my help and strength are found. Without keeping my thoughts fixed on the Lord, the feelings of helplessness are overwhelming.

I probably will eventually write about what I am feeling, when I think I can put it into words. I can't right now. But even though this is now a blog that I know people are reading, it is still a personal journal and I do want to write my thoughts down here. Once I can collect them.

Have you ever had those days (or weeks) where you wanted each day to pass by super-slowly, because you didn't want the next day to come?

It's been one of those weeks.