Tuesday, December 14, 2010


December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

The wisest decision I made this year, and perhaps in several years, was the decision to allow my husband to be who is supposed to be in our marriage.

You see, I was so used to being independent and handling things myself and pulling myself up by my own bootstraps and getting things done, even if I got them done poorly or haphazardly or not at all, that I didn't realize that after several years of marriage I was STILL doing independent me. I thought I had stopped. I hadn't. I thought I was holding it down for my husband. Instead, I was holding him down. A lot of problems we had last year and going into this year were due to us both not handling our responsibilities. We failed to handle them because of ignorance, not defiance.

He was perfectly happy letting me handle practically everything, because he was working like a dog. He always worked like a dog. And I handled everything else, even though I was completely in over my head and was not doing a good job at all of handling said else. So our house was out of order.

It took a rude awakening and someone on the outside looking in to help us see where we were going astray. I stopped operating as an unmarried single parent, as it were, and my husband gladly began to shoulder his responsibilities. We were instantly less stressed, hidden resentments disappeared, and we experienced a new level of peace in our marriage and home. It was a lesson learned the hard way, but it was an excellent lesson and one which resulted in my humble decision. The subsequent rewards were totally worth learning the lesson, even if it was the hard way.

1 comment:

Faith said...

it is experiences that i hope to learn from in my own life. i am glad that you allowed that realization turn things around for you and your hubby. that makes a strong woman! thanks for sharing your wisdom.